Tuesday, September 28, 2004

And Where does it end?
hmm,
I'm on the verge of losing my job because well Some days I'm so depressed I can't manage to roll out of bed, its hard enough making the dreaded phone call into work to tell them I won't be gracing them with my presence. Some days I know will be bad because I can sense anger building up inside of me and I haven't even rolled out of bed yet. So I call in because I know If i show up someone will be punched in the eye, Days like that I like to steer clear of ALL social Situations.
Its what has gotten me this far in the work force, Avoiding the days I feel Extremly Agitated, Angry, depressed, or too happy for that matter because lets face it I've been known to laugh in peoples faces about things that doesn't need to be laughed at (someone's loved one dying in a god-awful manner) But now, I've missed too many unexcused days (meaning over my 10 hour a month limit) so I got Written up. I know they are just waiting to push me out the door. and then what? Go on SSI? I really don't want to go that route..really.
I mean I would go nuckin' futs stayin' indoors every day of my life.. Believe me I know I've been there before. and I was addicted to Cocaine when I did so, I had no direction for my life. Now, at least I'm off the drugs (all DRUGS, except dr. prescribed of course) and I don't drink heavily AT ALL and i'm on the right path...I don't want to take 3 steps backwards after i struggled and worked so hard to move 1 step forward.
What is a poor pretty girl to do ;)
but blog about it *lol*

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